Quidditch for Muggles...oh, please!

This is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous things that I have ever heard. There has been a rising of people who want a Quidditch team at STU. ARE YOU KIDDING? Quidditch is not a game that can be played by people who are not in a book or a digitally enhanced movie. (For those of you who don't know, Quidditch is the made up game played by Wizards flying on broomsticks in the Harry Potter books). Not only do the players have to be flying on broomsticks, but there is this thing called "The Golden Snitch", which is a tiny ball with wings that flies around, faster than you can possibly see it. This game is IMPOSSIBLE to recreate exactly in real life. The whole point of Quidditch is that regular people, or "Muggles" as they're called in the book, cannot play it because they are unable to fly on brooms. Now, since there are no actual wizards in REAL LIFE, this game is quite impossible to play.



Quidditch for Muggles is played on the ground, with people running around with a broomstick between their legs. "The Snitch" (worth something like 150 points) is played by a really fast guy (The Snitch Runner) who's being chased by 2 "Seekers". Now, in the game in the books, the games can go on for a long time because of how difficult it is to find the damn thing. In the version for people, the Snitch Runner is wearing BRIGHT YELLOW and the Snitch is a tennis ball in a sock attached to the guy's ass. I can't see the games lasting more than 10 minutes.





This all kind of comes down to one point. People taking things out of the original context (ex. Imaginary game for Wizards), and then taking them far too seriously (ex. Intercollegiate Quidditch League). Another example of this would be the downturn in sales of Bronzer after Twilight came out. Teens wanted to be pale like vampires! I understand that Fantasy and Sci-Fi give you an escape from reality, (I myself am a big Star Trek and LOTR fan), but I think that this is taking it a bit too far. The Harry Potter movies are entertaining, and I have seen them all, but people need to realize that we don't live in a fantasy world. I just don't want to see my university become a complete and total joke.

Oh, and I've decided to take the One Ring to Mordor and cast it into the fires of Mount Doom...who wants to join me?? I could really use a Fellowship!

Until next time,

The Critic

Hungry vs. The Gym

A Dishonorable Mention goes to:

Hungry. That little orange bastard gets me every time. Who does he think he is waving donuts and shooting cheese guns at me? He is NOT very nice.



However, the Holly Patterson Seal of Approval goes to:

The Gym. At least when I go to the gym, I can let that little monster win every once in a while.

Until next time,

The Critic :)

On Slow Walkers (and other foot traffic annoyances)

I figure, I've been ranting about this for some time, it's about time that my unofficial rules for walking should be posted on the Blog. Everyone has these problems, and I feel like I need to write a book. This is the best I can do for now.

A Dishonorable Mention goes to the following types of people:

1) Slow Walkers:
Hi there, you are the people who choose to walk unreasonably slow when I am in a hurry to get to the Class or Lab or Work that I'm late for. I know that you can hear me coming up behind you, and when I try to get around you, you swerve 'inadvertently' right in front of me. If my short little legs can move faster than yours, I think you might have a problem. Please move over for people who are in a hurry, while you are slowly sauntering around chatting with your friend.

2) Attached at the Hipsters:
Hey, you are the people who are walking towards me on the sidewalk in pairs(Even better when you're 3 across!), and refuse to file behind the other so that I don't have to walk in the mud. It is common courtesy to allow someone else who is walking, some space to walk on the sidewalk. Please move over and be courteous of other people, or next time I see you, I will walk right into you before stepping into the mud.

3) Chatty Cathys:
Hi, you are the people who decide that it's alright to have giant group conversations in inconvenient places like, for example, in front of doors, at the bottom of stairs, or in the middle of walkways. This, again, causes me to step off the sidewalk to accommodate you. Please take your conversation off the sidewalk and onto a bench, or the cafeteria.

4) Euro-walkers:
Cheerio! You are the people that walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk. This one just throws me off rather than being a serious concern or annoyance. We live in North America, it is widely known that you walk on the same side that you would drive on. Please keep to the regular, North American side unless you have crossed over to enter a building, or if you are going to another walkway.



There may be more to come, I'll keep you posted.

Until next time!

The Critic

Oh HEY...youuu

Holly Patterson Seal of Approval:
Seeing people you recognize in places where they wouldn't usually be. The other day I was at the mall here in Bridgewater, and I saw a girl from STU that I recognized. We kind of looked at each other and she said, "Hey! You go to STU!" to which I replied, "Yeah, you too!" and that was the end of our conversation.

Dishonorable Mention:
Forgetting that person's name. I don't think she knew mine either.



Until next time!

The Critic

This Is It

So, I finally saw Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tonight. Although I am not his biggest fan, only really appreciating a few of his songs, I thought that the concert he was preparing to end the decade long hiatus would have been absolutely phenomenal. As I was watching, I had goosebumps at least a half-dozen times. The dedication that the entire crew had put into the show that never was, was astounding. I had no idea that his concert was basically ready to open. MJ had this way of telling people that it wasn't quite good enough, but at the same time, just wanting them to be better, not for his sake, but for the sake of his fans. He wanted absolute perfection. By the end of the documentary a part of me really wanted to see his dream concert come to fruition, even though he wouldn't be there to perform it. The entire crew worked tirelessly to see that his vision would be realized. I kept thinking that there must be enough footage of Michael rehearsing his concert to do the tour as a touching homage to the King of Pop. It is such a shame to see the hard work of everyone involved, including MJ, not go to a final product. As for the movie, I thought the footage was wonderfully assembled. It was wonderful to see something that didn't so much focus on his death, but the way that he lived, and his dedication to his craft. This most certainly deserves a Holly Patterson Seal of Approval.

Until next time,

The Critic